5 Reps: 90% of parenting, getting x’d, and a rule I made for myself

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Health

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It feels good to be able to lift the weight because you’re solving a problem. That happiness doesn’t stick around. Because happiness comes from solving problems, not in problems being solved. That’s why you go and lift heavier weights. To challenge yourself. That’s why going to the gym makes you happy.

 

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Relationships​

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90% of parenting is learning how to regulate yourself, not your child.

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2

In April, I moved my family to the most rule-following country on earth. Japan.
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I hate structure and rules. It’s been hard living here.
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A quick story:
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So I’m walking toward the exit of a train station. There’s this one guard standing roughly 5 feet from the exit. He has a whistle, an orange baton, and two arms that he holds up in the shape of an X.
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His job is to stop pedestrians from exiting via the parking lot.
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I didn’t see the signs. It was raining. There wasn’t another person in sight. The exit is maybe three feet from me.
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He blows the whistle and X’s me. I’ve been X’d so many times in this country. Then the guy points his baton back to the hotel where, it turned out, I have to walk 20 minutes out of my way just to get outside.
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-Zero emotion.
-No independent thought.
-No flexibility.
-No judgment call.
-“These are the rules. My job is to enforce them.”
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My first instinct: you cannot be serious.
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My second instinct: I should go back home.
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My third instinct, and this is the one that stuck:

“What if this is exactly what I need?”​

I’ve built my entire adult life around “I’ll figure it out my way.”
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Every business and every decision has been my path. I’ve been self-employed my entire career. Never taken any outside funding and never had a business partner. It’s been my rules.
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Japan is pulling me toward the middle ground, toward “Follow the group to keep order.”
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I don’t like it. I think it’s stupid a lot of the time.
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But here’s what I’m learning: The most uncomfortable environments are the ones with the most to teach you.
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All of these years, maybe I’ve skewed more on the side of making my own rules. Maybe I’ve gotten too stuck in my own ways. Maybe I need somebody to X me ten times a day and set me a bit straighter.
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Maybe. I dunno.
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I’ve got a few more weeks here so please pray that I learn and don’t get ticketed for jay walking or whatever. ‘Cause that’ll probably happen.

 

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Jonathan Goodman
Coach. Author. World explorer. But mostly, Dad.

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